December 2, 1985 started as a day like any other. The next day my son would turn one year old. We had his party the day before. And sometime around two o'clock in the afternoon I made a near fatal mistake.

I tried to install a disconnect bucket in a 480V/4000A switchgear without any supervision. It nearly cost my my life and set me on a path I could never have imagined and wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I only remember the sound of a frieght train running over me leaving me 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 42 % of my body. 32 days, 4 surgerys and 1 helicopter ride later I was sent home. I can't imagine what my family was going through. I had a hard enough time processing what I was going through. In the process of all that, there were several pictures taken of me at different stages of burnt-up recovery (thanks mom). 10 1/2 months later I was back to work.

I am still an electrician, and in the process of getting some company required certifications we are shown several graphic pictures of people in much worse condition than I was. The first time I saw these pictures I felt like I was in a sacred place that shouldn't be disturbed. A very personal place that only the victims could inhabit. Almost like being in an Indian burial ground or something. I felt almost embarassed for the victims we were looking at. Somewhat ashamed of invading their tragedy. Of course I put on my toughest face and passed through, knowing others around me were aware of my past and were looking for my reaction.

I had looked for the pictures of my recovery and couldn't find them. But recently the pictures were found and brought out for a specific purpose and I was wierdly disturbed. I've looked at them before and didn't mind them. I don't know why I can't look at the pictures now. I've told my story to quite a few people and I really don't mind talking about it. I suppose that's because I can control the conversation and most people are respectful when in my company. But pictures let people into an area that no one normally goes. Pictures let people into my burial grounds. Pictures expose us to others interpretations of that event and leave us very vulnerable.

You would think that 23 yrs would be enough to be able to put this aside, but sometimes I wonder...

KAT

I do believe that this is one of the prettiest little girls I know. (Of course I may be biased) Little Miss Katarina is our first grandchild and Grandpa and Nana Topping are as pleased as punch.

Blessing?

I guess an $800.00 car repair bill can be a blessing when you consider 3-days without power, mile long lines at gas stations and empty grocery store shelves. Some folks looking at 2-3 weeks without power. Some folks staying in a shelter or away from home for who knows how long. Some folks with no home to get power to. I guess a broke down car is not much to complain about right now. Especially when I'm comfortable while I wait. I'll be back at home soon, with gas and groceries from Killeen. Blessings come in all shapes.

If you doubt, check this out!!!

If you wonder whether slavery is still going on here in the states then check out this story.

http://www.star-telegram.com/190/story/723015.html

The FBI is making a dent, well maybe a scratch, in the trafficking going on in the US. After reading how politicized all the traffick inforcement is throughout the world and the US it's refreshing to see comments like this from the FBI director. "We together have no higher calling than to protect our children and to safeguard their innocence," FBI Director Robert Mueller said Wednesday.

How do you walk with Christ daily?

That was the question my buddy asked me during our commute to work yesterday morning. I didn't realize it then, but it was a question that would carry me through the rest of the day.

My answer was a simple, "Shoot, I don't know."

We continued to discuss it as we went our separate ways to work. We finally decided, as hard as it might be, that to walk with Christ daily you should keep Christ and His ways in the front of your mind all day. If the GC comes at you and is hollering about something you have no control over, having Christ in the front of your mind may keep the blood from boiling over. The only thing I know for sure is that it's hard and it takes continual practice and commitment.

After I had completed the safety meetings my Gen Supt called me into the office, the Ops Manager was there also. The words spoken were simple and politically correct. "Mark, it's come time that Mark Topping and Walker Engineering part ways." (How do you walk with Christ daily?)

What do you say? "It's not fair!!"......"It's not my fault!!"......"Why me?"....."What about him or them?" (How do you walk with Christ daily?)

I said,"OK."

I went to my office and started packing. With the Gen Supt looking over my shoulder to make sure I didn't take anything that didn't belong to me. (How do you walk with Christ daily?) It's amazing how unimportant things get when you just want to get out.

As I drove away from a 21 year job it wasn't resentful thoughts or 'what if' thoughts going through my head, but more like I couldn't believe it was over. Even though many of us knew something was going to happen and I was a prime candidate for DTR Electric there is still the thought of disbelief. (How do you walk with Christ daily?)

I called my wife on the way home and broke the news to her. That was probably the hardest thing in the world for me, even though I know I can go get a good job any time, there is still that thing poking and prodding a my pride. That little gnawing at my side that says I'm less of a man because I lost my job. (How do you walk with Christ daily?)

The news spread through my small sphere like wild fire. The standard questions were, "What are you going to do now?" and "Are you going to the other company now?". I just want to figure out "How do you walk with Christ daily?".

I have to tell you the truth here. There is a big since of relief in all of this. Knowing something is going to happen, but not knowing when or to who, is extremely stressful. Especially when you are trying to run two jobs.

Later on my wife was mentioning to me how relaxed I seemed to be about it all and was wondering why I wasn't mad or upset about it all. I asked her the question that had been on my mind all day, "How do you walk with Christ daily?". That question was the thing that helped me through it all (thanks, buddy).

The good news in all of this is that new doors are opening and opportunities are plentiful. Have you ever noticed that when things are good the "How do you walk with Christ daily?"thing is a whole lot easier.

Lord, help me to make the right decisions in the things to come and continue to teach me "How do you walk with Christ daily?".

What a year!!

Finished with the homecoming of both my boys. That was pretty special since they will both be deployed through the holidays next year. All the family for Christmas dinner and a surprise visit from Wes and Ashley for New Years Eve.

On the last Sunday of the year we were challenged to write down some things we did or changes we made in our own lives this past year that we believe had a positive impact on ourselves or others. And then we were to write down what we intended to do or change in the next year.

After deciding that I had no significant impact on anyone outside of my immediate family(thanks for pointing that out for me) I looked inward and discovered in myself a new appreciation for what I believe. And a new sense of ownership of those beliefs. What I mean is I believe what I believe because it's something I've became aware of instead of something I was told was the right thing.

And with that realization came a desire to lead others to that point. So I'll tell my kids, or whoever, that what their beliefs are should be based on what they know and not what I tell them. If someone says the something is one way then they should look into it before they buy into it. If any of that makes any sense, that's my resolution.

Then just when I think all is right and rolling along good, the explosion comes. Who knows why or when but it comes and he's gone again. Happy New Year, huh? The shame of it all, is that it's happened so often I could hardly care less. How can I live in the kingdom with this in my life and those kind of feelings in my heart? It will be interesting to see how God works in this.

Bobby Dale

We buried my uncle today. After a long battle with cancer he has gone to be with our Lord. I was honored to be a pallbearer.
I'll never forget the first time I met him at Granny Collingsworth's house. I was the newest boyfriend of the first granddaughter and was there to meet the family. Bobby Dale and his brother-in-law told me in no uncertain terms that if I hurt their niece in any way they would have to "talk" with me. I never had that talk, thank God, and over the years I have grown to admire and respect him.
He was a carpenter by trade who left many of his own projects incomplete so that he could help others with theirs. I remember him telling me about how he cut his leg with a circular saw because he had pnned the guard back. After we discussed the safety that the guards provide we'd swap stories of crazy stuff that had happened on job sites of the past.
I guess my favorite memories are of the family reunions. Both in Witchita and here in Houston. He was our auctioneer and designated story teller. When we had our local reunion in Conroe we would sit around the campfire till 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning and talk about whatever came up. He'd be the last one to bed and the first one to rise.
I cherish most the couple of times I spent sitting on his porch talking of dogs and horses or kids and family. He will be missed.

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Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Phillipians 4:8